today went sao mu.
hahhas.
now my feet there got the slippers de outline.
lols.
my brother de even WORSER.
LOL.
then the part of his hands that are exposed to the sun are all RED.
so easy sunburn de.
BO ENG AH!
actually i got a little lahs.
LOL.

then reached home at around 1 lidat.
talked to him on the phone in room lahhs.
then my EXTRA BROTHER came in.
saw that i was using phone.
then make a lot of noise.
in the end my mum came in and i had to end the call.
walao ehhs.
talked to him 3 times on the phone.
everytime had to end abruptly.
SORRY HOR!
i think you should be feeling quite pek chek ehhs?
although you say nvm lahhs.
lols.
PAISEH.
SORRY SORRY!
really very SORRY.

he seriously rocks my life.

hmms.
blahhblahhs.
blahblahhs.

had darn boring lessons today.
seriously i think that mrs chia is such a sleeping pill man.
she is real good at making us sleep.
at first i was still quite energetic.
cause just returned from recess.
but when she started teaching.
my eyelids started to drop.
i just so feel like sleeping lor.
AND THEN.
the next lesson was SCIENCE.
can you imagine?
so sleepy already still need to study boring things.
well.
people out there who cant sleep at night.
i have found you a REMEDY:
just have boring english lesson and science lesson consecutively.
i am sure you will be able to sleep.
;D

hmms.
sianns.
suddenly feel that i am such a OUTSIDER.
maybe i shouldnt appear at all.
well anyway.
i AM an outsider.
hmms.
will perservere help?
i seriously dunno.
i feel that i am quite a bitch sometimes.
why?
duno.

hahhas.
he really made my day man.
<3 him loads.
smsed with him.
hahhas.
talk about alot of things lah.
including 5o-6o thingy.
wahhahhas.
(:

today morning was actually like quite happy lahhs.
blahblahhs.
saw him ALOT of times.
quite alot lahhs.

hmms.
attended the history workshop thingy.
quite boring.
haiis.
shouldnt had VOLUNTEERED to go for it.
waste of time.
if i never go hor.
i can like.
blahblahhs lahhs.
walao ehhs.
pekchek.
after the thingy jiu went downstairs lor.
and then saw him lahs.
blahblahhs.

then the STUPID eng debate.
we were actually proposition lor.
then mrs chia told us we were opposition.
then the topic is like so..
aiya.
duno how to say.
just that if you are opposing..
u will have like 99.9% of winning.
so..
get it?
then mr chang came to explain.
blahblahhs.
made a racket in the canteen.
people around are all looking at us.
blahhs.
we might as well just GIVE UP lah.
as if we will go into the finals lidat.
and ohya..
i think mr chang damn pissed with us already.
and the worst thing is he one of the 2 judges.
hmm.
WTH?!

haiis.
i duno why.
but i recently really mood swings till very serious.
haiis.
sometimes i really feel very depress lor.
haiis.
things things things.
blahhs.
thinking about all sorts of things.
worrying.
haiis.
DEPRESS.

when i think of you.
i will cheer up a little bahhs.
just a little nia bahhs.
because...
because......
haiis.
i shant say......

today..
dont know how to explain.
not sure if its GOOD or BAD.

lessons were as per normal.
nothing much anyway.
OHYA.
darn it.
lost 2 marks in the science paper liao la.
wapiang.
actuallt that 2 questions me is correct de lor.
but then at the last minute.
my hand ITCHY.
go and change the answer.
in the end both WRONG.
actually is correct de lor.
wakao.
pekchek man.

then after school stayed back for co.
then in the end junior told me that senior say no co.
me went to ask tcher.
he say have.
then ask me teach the sec1s.
but me go and see.
and realised that there were no sec1s.
so just went home lor.

then going home that time.
saw a scene.
something which i should not have seen eh?
i am not sure.
ok.
shant elaborate lahhs.
...
...
...
but it sort of turn out as a good thing ehhs?
lols.

he say he got a bit 'huiling' fpr me.
lols.
but so what?
he got a stead le lor.
but nvm lahhs.
at least is got a bit huiling lahhs.
better than none.
lols.

he thought that i would be angry.
because of something lahhs.
lols.
but me have no right lahhs.
not as if he is like blahhblahh-ing.
lols.
he cared for me sehhs.
lols.
he was afraid that i might get angry.
lols.

WEDNESDAY.
THAT FAITHFUL DAY(:
21.o3
lols.

sianns.
today actually is have detention de.
BUT.
it seems like tcher had already forgotten about it(:
hahhas.
me just stayed back with jiaying till 4plus.
we give tcher face lehhs.
at least if tcher suddenly remember.
we still can say we did stay back whats.
just that we couldnt find her and left on our own.
wahahhas.
so BAD!
lousy excuse.
hahhas.
i have damn lot of lousy excuses.
so people.
if you do need some LOUSY excuses.
feel free to consult me(:
=.=

had boring lessons.
i am so damn effing pissed about science.
i PAID ATTENTION to what ms siti was saying.
BUT.
i dun understand a single thing she say.
what reflection, refraction, virtual images.
blahhblahhs.
i SERIOUSLY DUN UNDERSTAND.
still..
ms norfida is better.

enough talking about science.
lets talk about MATHS.
ok.
i now can almost understand everything that mr ang said.
yeahs(:
although i got some parts which i am not clear about lahhs.
but AT LEAST i could understand 9o% of what he is talking about.
ohhhs.
i am so proud of myself.
LOL.
after school went to northpoint to eat.
hahahs.
detention still can lidat de wors
;D
clever mahhs.

then when come back that time just sat in the canteen.
talked rubbish with jiaying.
but me was actually waiting for him lahhs :P
and yeahhs.
he appeared.
lols.
shant elaborate too much lahhs.
then he went for cca lahhs.
me and jy stayed until 4plus.
actually wanted to go back at 5plus de lor.
but her phone no network.
then maybe its because of low batt lahhs.
so she damn gan-jiong to go back charge phone.
so just went home lor.
then saw him again.
wahhas.
thought i wouldnt see him de lors.
hahhas.
me over here happy also bo-eng.
as if he will like me.
=.=
haiis.
sianns.
he really love her dearly sehhs.
haiis.

ohya.
today in class keep on passing letter with jesslyn.
talking about girl's matter.
FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS.
etc etc.
will try not to like 冷落 her.
actually its great that i have her as my listening ear.
no matter what happens,
she would always be there for me.
listen to my happiness.
listen to my sadness.
listen to my complains.
my thoughts.
practically EVERYTHING.
i would really like to say thanks to her lahhs.
and to my other friends too.
a BIG THANK YOU to you guys!
;D

today went to school to do hstory project.
guai hor?
lols.
didnt do anything in the end.
because we are planning to get the script back from teacher..
on monday.
so just chatted in the canteen from like 12 to 1 lidat.
then went to meet rachel and elaine.
blahhblahhs.
then they went for co while i went home.

oh man.
i really miss him lots.
although saw him just now lahhs.
3 times.
i really miss him sehhs.
got walk behind him.
aww..
i really MISS him.
haiis.
so what?
he has got a beloved liao lor.
sighs.
heck care lahhs.
he really is so shuai sehhs(:

today was average.
these few days i realised that history is so much fun.
its getting more interesting i should say.
also.
i find that recently the maths lesson pass quite quickly?
maybe its because that the chpt7 de maths not that hard.
furthermore.
mr ang like to 'lecture' everytime before he starts his lessons.
and there was an english test today.
luckily i managed to finish on time.
can you imagine doing a compre PLUS a SUMMARY.
and the time duration is like less than 1hr?!
crazy de lahhs.

realised that i recently is like quite depress.
everytime mood swing.
one minute i might be joking with you.
another minute i might be so sad.
crazy lahhs.
SERVERE mood swings lahhs.

feeling quite stressed up nowadays.
home econ project.
history project.
then now still have debating.
haiis.

STRESSED.
being spelt backwards:
DESSERTS.
its a matter how how you view things.

now then do i understand why so many people dun like her.
initially,
i was like sitting on the fence.
thinking that she is just ok.
although sometimes very over.
but now.
i really think that she is really crazy.

crazy as in...
erms.
siao lahhs.
hello.
whats wrong with tucking out shirt?
its not as if we tuck out till can see the end of the shirt right?
AT LEAST...
we did make the effort to FOLD IN ok?
then is there a need to give detention just because we tuck out?
yeah right.
then why dun you go around giving detention to the others.
i am SURE that out of the 12oo+ students in school.
there will at AT LEAST 8oo people tio detention.
but there is just this 3 unlucky people who kena caught by her.
and kena detention the next whole week.
AND YEAH.
one of the 3 is ME.
walao.
i dun see a need for this lor.
i am just so plain unlucky today.
blahhblahhs.
should look on the bright side.
i can see him lahhs(:
lols.
but he wont be anywhere near the staffroom though.
hope that is go canteen detention.
or go other side of the staffroom.
then its the BEST.
yeah.
and maybe i would LOVE her alot.
hahhas.

MONDAY
had boring lessons .
then after school stayed back lahhs.
do home econ project.
then he also got stay back for cca.
then he took that animation photo thingy of xueying.
then xy very pek chek lahhs.
lols.
it was fun lahs.
then they were late for their cca.
kena scolded by CA1.
hahhas.
pathetic sehhs.

TODAY
even more boring lessons.
then had co after school.
did nothing much anyway.
OVERALL.
a BORING day at school.

haiis.
guess i am used to it already.
HOT.
COLD.
HOT.
COLD.
always happen every two days.
haiis
habits will become natural.
WHATEVER.
cold. cold. cold.
thats the season i am experiencing today.
guess tomorrow will be the same.
BUT.
maybe on thurs.
it will be another different story.

我希望看见你,
可又害怕见到你.
我想再听到你的声音,
可又害怕遇上你的眼神.
我好像还是忘不了你.

简爱. 第十七章..
我的眼睛不由自主地溜到他脸上。
看的时候，
我感到一种快感，
一种带有辣味的快乐，
像个快渴死的人，
明知道井里放了毒药，
还要去喝井里的水，
我感到的就是这样的快乐。

this can express what i had been feeling last week...

陌生人

我们现在就好像是陌生人一样.
你不理我.
我不理你.
但..
其实我是有理你的.
每当我问你问题时..
你也只是敷衍的回答我罢了.
你似乎从来没关心过我.
而我呢..
则是时时刻刻地在想着你.
付出就一定会有回报吗?
我不这么认为.
我为你付出了那么多.
那你呢?
你有为我做过什么事吗?
答案: 没有.

有时我实在是很后悔.
我干嘛在那里白白付出啊？
明知道是不会有回报的。
但我还是傻傻地一头栽进去。
我真是瞎啊。
真的。
难怪别人会说爱情是盲目的。
哎...
真的好希望能够把你忘了。
只要你不要*ahem-ahem*.
这就行了... ...

got back progress card.
PATHETIC lehhs.
8/44.
DROPPED BY 3 POSITIONS.
sad man.
i HATE art lahhs.
should say i hate mdm lai.
so stingy.
give so little marks nia.
pulled my grades down.
i hate her.

mrs chia ask me represent class in debating.
together with xueqi,qiguang,lynn and MARCUS.
eeyer.
erxin.
I DUN WANT.

爱情..
究竟什么是爱情?
爱一个人十分辛苦..
既然知道爱是痛苦的.
那为何我还要选择受苦呢?
那是因为我深信爱情能够
带给我幸福..
带给我甜蜜..
带给我快乐..
但是.
我错了.
我彻彻底底地错了.
爱一个人是痛苦的.
爱一个人是辛苦的.
这可能只是发生在我身上吧.
但我已经受够了.
我真的真的不想再过着这种日子了.
我只有两个字来形容:
痛苦.
这实在是痛苦.

我下定决心了.
我要把他忘了.
即使多困难..
我还是得把他抛到远远的..
希望我能做到..

决定要忘了他。
一定要忘了他。
不听弟的言，吃亏在眼前。

FINALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT MEANT.
HOPE ITS ISNT TOO LATE.

first period was maths.
it was boring.
then had pe.
threw discus.
it was so big man.
as big as my hand. just nice.
threw 2 times at first.
then nobody else want to throw mahhs.
so continued throwing.
then challenged amos jt and yy.
sometimes win sometimes lose.
lol.
throw until i feel like my hand de veins going to burst.
lol.
quite fun though.

then had assembly.
it was about body language.
a one-man show.
farnie.
he had alot of masks.
today assembly very fun lahhs(:

stayed back awhile after school.
went to co room and talk.
then went toilet with shiqing.
saw pervin.
chatted outside the toilet.
then jy and kh came.
we saw a CHIO GONG.
lol.
35+ like that de guy.
with shoulder-length hair.
we tailed him.
and then kept on laughing all the way.
hahhas.
then he went to see the acrobetics.
he interested in a blue house de CHIO MA.
lol.
chio ma is a GUY.
he kept looking at him.
hahhas.
made up stories and told them to jy.
FARNIE sehhs.

actually i wanted to sleep at 8.45+ lidat de.
but he smsed.
saying he is wuliao.
so i smsed with him.
until 10.45 lidat.
SACRIFICE my 2hrs or sleep.
just for HIM lor!!
at first i got ask him if he angry blahhblahhs.
then we talk about that 'thingy' lahhs.
he said that maybe i was right.
SEE.
WOMAN'S SIXTH SENSE VERY ACCURATE de.

i sorted out my thoughts yesterday night.
i decided not to like him anymore.
threw all the feelings away le.
but during recess that time.
sq and jy said about something he did lahhs.
then the feelings came back le.
assembly he also blahhs.
after the show even more blahs.
then when going that time he also got blahhs.

why is it that whenever i want to forget you.
you will do things that make me change my mind.
is it because of that sms ytd?
cny that time is lidat.
now is also the same.
haiis.
it seems like 老天爷 dun want me to forget about you ehhs?

为什么你只总是忽冷忽热的？
你在昨天和今天是热的
怎么你现在又好像是冷的呢？
我今天早上已经彻底地忘了你了
怎知道
你对我的感觉突然间180度的改变了
那已藏在我心底的感觉又回来了
似乎一直有一股力量
让我无法忘了你
我看着你那眼神
那深情脉脉的眼神?
我还是忘不了你
我认识你的时间只有短短的25天
我认为我对你的爱不是很深
因此能非常容易的把你忘掉
但你真的会在我想把你忘掉时..
突然对我很好
这使我不能把你忘掉
我不想再折腾下去了
我还是不清楚
若你不喜欢我,就别再作出那些举动.
到时.我就知道该怎么办了...

ps. very chim sehhs.
chii gona improve alot liao.
lol(:

HURRAYness.
my chinese term1 result is out.
i got 88.
top man(:
happy sehhs.
going to get report book on friday.
aniwae, amos got 1st.
i DUN WANT amos to get 1st lahhs.
arrghs.
BITCHER man.
lol.

recess quite fun bahhs.
should say is quite HAPPY.
lol.
put my ice tea on their plates.
and then he helped me throw.
hahhas.
lol.

it seems that we are trying to see who is the NONCHALENT champion.
and i think you will be the winner,
you are damn nonchalent.
now i shall try to be nonchalent too,
actually i dun feel like doing so.
my nonchalent-ness happens because there is NO TOPIC between us.
looked for him today.
i duno wad to talk to him.
so didnt talk at all.
he didnt even bother to look at me once.
or talk to me.
what the heck is this?
i dun expect you to look at me all the while or what.
all you have to do is dun treat me transparent.
treat me as an opaque object.
just treat me as your FRIEND.
is it so difficult for you?

DO NOT GIVE ME HOPE AND DISAPPOINT ME.
I CANT TAKE IT.
不要把我捧上天了, 又把我推下来.
我接受不了这种刺激!
please.
do not treat me this way.
if you see this. [ i know you wont de. ]
please.
if it is a lie.
then just say so.
if it is the truth.
say so too.
我要崩溃了!!

does the problem lies with me?
or you?
there is this something in my heart which i cant put down.
i keep thinking that you are lying.
even if you said that it was the truth.
i still did not believe you.
THIS IS MY FAULT.
but if you dun be so nonchalent,
i would believe you.
whose fault is it then?
I AM GOING CRAZY!

hmms.
todae music went ITR.
do the music arangement etc.
now then i know that its so hard to 编曲.

during art we just slack.
then had eng then history.
both of the teachers didnt come.
history was free periods.
we had to do compre during eng.
sianns.

after school stayed back for co.
nonsense-ed with juniors.
slacked all the way.
fun lahhs

smsed him.
i told him i dun believe him.
he said your problem.if you think so.thats your problem.
then i said i dun blahhblahhs,
then he said dun sms me if you think so.
etc etc.
几man一下wors.
*shivers*
hahhas.

i was just wondering.
does action speaks LOUDER than words?
i hope not.
just hope that he is someone who knows how to express his thoughts through words.
and NOT action.
hahhas.
i think i am slowly believing what he said ehhs?

爱一个人，你就必须包容他的缺点.
although he very *ahems*
but i will try to 包容.
说得容易，做的难.
LOL.
hope you really said the truth.
will wait for your OK.
will wait for you to think that its actually not troublesome.
hope it will be SOON.

MY 100th POST
finally.
lol.

hadd maths test.
think i am going to flunk it.
even though i finished it quite early.
darn it.
fail ler lahhs.

learnt chapt 5 & 6.
lol.
was hyper man.
together with zhihui.
wahahhas.
we so damn YELLOW(:
so are zhikang, lucas etc etc.
YELLOW LAHHS(:
ps. they are just sec1 nia lor.
then stayed backed and did project lahhs.
sianns.

haiis.
i really duno if i should believe him anot.
i am really very confused right now.
hope he REALLY didnt lie.
i have a feeling.
it tells me that he is lying.
i could sense that he IS lying.
maybe its just because i dun have confidence in myself.
or maybe its because i dun TRUST him?
or maybe...
its that he is LYING?
dii asked me not to regret.
REGRET.
thats the word.
it wasnt in my dictionary before.
but i think.
i am going to have a new word in my dictionary.
and that is .
REGRET.

i think i am starting to regret.
it seemed that he did not want to talk to me.
or is it because he dun dare to?
he didnt even look at me when he walk past.
am i just being paranoid or what?
i have better relationships with his friends.
BUT NOT HIM.
i didnt talk to him AT ALL today.
only talked to his friends.
i dun dare to talk to him.
even if i did.
it waould be about biantai things.
hahhas.
just realised this is my 1st 'hahhas' so far.
I AM DEPRESS.

i thought of the past.
read my past blog entries.
during the blahh-blahh thing.
where we were playing.
where we were chatting.
it was fun.
REAL FUN.
it was one of the best days of my life.
seeing this type of scene will be like the 'mission impossible 4'.
haiis.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BE FRIENDS EH?
but i do not want to just be friends with you.
sometimes it seemed like you arent lying.
but sometimes it also seemed to me that you are lying.
so whats the truth?

kkaes.
i smsed him and asked him the BHB thing.
he said nah its too ma fan.
thats why he doesnt.....
you know.
ohya.
wadeva.
actuallt i also not sure about my feelings yets.
so.
have to wait till tomorrow.
hahhas.
what nonsense am i talking about?
ohya.
wadeva lahhs.

hmms.
yesterday talk with jiaying about telepathy.
and hmms.
the telepathy thing sort of like happened yesterday night.

at 10 plus lah..
i felt like smsing him telling him something.
but then cause my hp like gona no money liao.
so i decided not to sms yet.
a few minutes later.
HE SMSED ME.
and then the scarier thing was.
he sms me de topic..
is the same as what i intended to sms him.
to cut short.
meaning that we 2 thought of the same thing.
just that i didnt sms him.
OMG.
i was like so damn jaw drop.
is this call telepathy?
i DUNO.

then we just smsed lor.
he didnt believe me jus lik i didnt believe him.
hahhas.
duno if what he said was true.
feel like asking him about something.
but it seemed BHB?
i dunno.
seriouly i dun.

ohya.
yanlin dun feel sadd liao hor.
everything will turn out fine(:

how i wish i could just read your mind.
i tink it is starting to turn white eh?
i duno.
hope what you said ytd wasnt a LIE.
hope you told me the TRUTH.

BLEACH is super uber NICE(:
watched 5 episodes le.
damn nice manns.
(:

all becos of u.
haiis.
aniwae its still GREY.

hmms.
todae nth much lahhs.
stayed bac after sku to HELP jiaying do art.
walao.
dat mdm lai.
damn stingy de rahhs.
my art highest jus 7o nia.
lowest 52.
wth lahhs.
its gona pull down my overall lo.
aniwae i wun b goin to triple or double scii lahhs.
WADEVA.
den e art do finish liao jiu went to klas nn do hmwk.
den played widd e board.
lol.
BHB 一族.
lol.
我的*ahem* cuter.
lol.
FUN(:

although i sort of kn wad type of guy he is.
i still...
i duno if i realli lik him mahs.
neither black nor white.
its GREY.

todae was FUN lahhs.
hadd pe.
we went to e hall dere nn throw rubber discus.
my 1st one was lik XUEte.
it flew towards to left.
second one was better.
3rd one was BEST.
furthest.
but i nt happi.
cos i neva hit mr yong's head.
i jus miss it by a lil.
nt me purposely wana hit de lahs.
jus dat it jus flew OVER his head.
hmmpfs.
den throw finish liao den went to talktalk.
den we started to do stretchin xercises.
lol.
xy ls sc de jing quite kai de.
hahhs.
kept playin lo.
mr yong's great.
neva scold us de.
GREAT.

den hadd chii.
talk bout ke wen lahhs.
den talk til SEX education.
everybody started to get HIGH.
lols.
gona start chpt 5&6 soon.
hahhas.
realised dat ther r sum biantaiis in sec1.
hahhs.

after sku stay bac do hmwk.
guai hor?
lols.
do hmwk outside library.
den me..
hahhs.
hhahas.
so FUN.
hahhs.
den laff non-stop widd jiaying.
hahaas.
FUN lahhs.
''i wan videre ur mammalis''
hahhas.
FUN lahhs.